Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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