well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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