sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
