Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Randomize
