So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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