I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
