also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
