I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
