She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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