I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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