I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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