ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize