You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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