Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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