remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
