I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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