I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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