Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
