I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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