# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
