p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
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He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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