Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i think i scared a bird with my dick
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
