WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You should frame my arrest warrant.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
