i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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