Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
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He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
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So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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