There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
We need to get me chipped asap
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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