Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
