my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
i think i just lost a toe
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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