morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
