just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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