gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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