New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
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