Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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