thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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