It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
she smelled like a LAN party
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Randomize
