I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize