i already hear my dad disowning me
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
do herpes really smell.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize