This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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