I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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