Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Randomize
