Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
