Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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