just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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