We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Acid is not a monday night drug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize