Its about making memories worth repressing
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
