I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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