New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
