I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
