What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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