Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
