remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize