you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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