could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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