Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
