I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
