Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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